Monday, March 8, 2010

Candelight Vigil at Escondido HS

Tonight we decided to walk down the hill to Escondido HS and take part in a candlelight vigil for the family of Amber Dubois. Amber went missing on Valentine's Day last year and was taken off the street less than a mile from our home. If you haven't heard, her remains were found this weekend, and it appears that she is an earlier victim of the same creep who took Chelsea King in RB who was discovered last week. We have been working with the girls about not talking to strangers, and talking a lot about compassion for others, so we felt that even though most of it was over their heads, we would walk down as a family and pray for Amber's family.

This experience was good for us on so many levels. First, I've had a really heavy heart for the past week, and just to do something active was positive for me. Emotional things like this really affect me, and although many friends have told me that is a good thing because it makes me sensitive, it is sometimes hard to function under a cloud of grief. I could never be a counselor - there is no way I would be able to seperate myself from the pain of others.

There has been a thought that our pastor shared with us yesterday that has really helped me today. It is common in our culture to call for a moment of silence at times like these. He was suggesting that we have no need to be silent - we have a God that we can cry out to. So at the moment of silence today, I prayed. I know God is in control and involved in our experiences - even when things are awful, flawed, imperfect, or ruined - He is still there.

I was also moved by our girls' response to the event. When we got there, they were too short to see much of anything except the backs of the people in front of us. So they just stood there and sang "Jesus Loves Me" together a few times. I thought about telling them to be quiet since everyone was just standing there silently waiting for the family and the officials to talk to us. But when they got to the line "little ones to him belong..." I was touched by their innocence (and how Amber and Chelsea belong to God now, too), and I looked at Jenetta, and we just let them sing away not caring what anyone else thought.

Back home at bedtime, O prayed for Amber's family. She asked God that they would not be so sad, and that they would get a new kid and do fun stuff together. Even though pretty much all day long O had been testing us and generally being an annoying punk, I couldn't help but smile and give her a hug and pray for her safety and thank God that we have two girls to protect and teach and raise.

There were a lot of media people at the event. The TV trucks from LA and San Diego took up most of the right lane on Broadway in front of the school. The front area was filled with reporters and camera people and newspaper photographers. Here is a photo that one of them took tonight:


3 comments:

Laura R. March 10, 2010 at 8:43 AM  

I am so glad that all of you went together to this memorial. It was proper for your girls to sing, as it was just as appropriate and repectful as the silence was.

Laurissa and I went to Chelsea King's prayer procession, as Laurissa is a senior at Poway High, and knew Chelsea by sight and reputation (not personally). I also felt that it was important to do something, to be a part. We tied blue ribbons on trees in our block up to St. Michaels (we live two blocks from the church).Since the vigil was held at a church, they did not observe a moment of silence - the monseignor prayed publically! The Kings were there and spoke to all of us, which I thought was an amazing show of strength of character. And I prayed for the entire 45 minutes it took us to walk the mile down and then back up Pomerado Rd. So many things and people God brought to mind to pray for.

It was a powerfully spirtual experience for both of us, as I am sure it was for all of you. Thank you for sharing your experience. We need to hold our daughters AND our sons close.

Kevin Bunn March 10, 2010 at 9:28 AM  

John&Janetta,
We have been blessed to work closely with both the Amber Dubois and Chelsea King families over the past two weeks, for which we are very thankful. These are kind, caring, compassionate people upon whom a tragic, heart-breaking loss has occurred. Paula and I were also at the vigil Monday evening and met with the Dubois family and supporting search team members. You guys did a good thing by being there and, provided a good "life moment" for the girls. These incidents, even though linked to such sad situations, help us all I think, to reach out and help each other in time of grief and loss.

Marge March 11, 2010 at 7:49 PM  

Thanks for sharing this story. So sad. I think you did the right thing taking the girls to this event. I believe it really helps them to think about empathy.
Thinking about you!
Love you
Aunt Margaret

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