Travels with Cocoa

O got a project from school the other day. She was to take a stuffed dog named Cocoa home and have him come along wherever they went. L didn't want to be left out, so she had a small red dog named Coco that she brought along.

We took the dogs to the farmer's market yesterday and to dinner at Lourdes.

This morning, I took the girls (and the dogs) on an adventure I'd been meaning to do for a while. After breakfast, I took the girls to the Escondido Transit Station and we boarded a Sprinter train headed for Oceanside. The ride takes just under an hour, and they had a great time riding on the train. Kids under 5 ride free, and my fare was $4 for the round trip.

We got off at the terminal and walked to the pier. The girls had fun watching people fishing and posing for photos with their dogs. Then we split a milkshake and fries at the Ruby's Diner at the end of the pier. After snacking, we walked back and caught the next train back home.

We've had three really good days in a row. O has been doing a good job of listening and accepting things when they don't go her way (instead of the usual screaming and crying sessions). This has been a welcome relief! We have a reward system based on choices and listening that she fails at more often than she succeeds at. We've had three days in a row where after bath, she gets to share in the rewards for good behavior. It has been a welcome turn of events! It is so hard disciplining and correcting over and over and over. It just wears you down so much!

Jenetta and I were talking the other night that we are actually enjoying spending time with our daughters. We need that so much - it really helps us be more patient in the difficult moments.


And the waves were not bad. Some sets to overhead +. I am heading out with David tomorrow morning! :)

Latest.... more waiting

I actually worked this week! I got a random call from a realtor I haven't heard from in years who needed some photos of a home in Escondido. I hadn't shot a home in over a year, but I dusted off the equipment and jumped on the chance to make some cash. And on Thursday and Friday, I found myself doing quite a bit of work for the water company. Unfortunately, I was not paid for any of that. :(

Here is the latest on that situation: My former boss has been asked to resign from the company. The shareholders plan to seize control of the assets and the debts once the resignation is official and everything has been done properly. I have been assured that once that happens, I will be offered a contract to help the company move forward.

The problem is that delays keep slowing this process down. If we had a big savings account, I wouldn't worry too much about it. But I need to earn a living. So it has been frustrating to sit on the sidelines and just wait to have a job. There actually is a lot of work that needs to be done, but until all the legalities are satisfied, they can't raise money and pay me or the new CEO a salary. I was told it would definitely be last week, then the middle of this week for sure, and then October 1 at the latest. Yesterday I got an email that it may be another 15-30 days before everything is in place appropriately.

We appreciate the support and prayers many of you are sending our way. It means a lot! Now, if only a real income would come our way, too :)

What I've been up to...

Instead of freaking out every day about how small our bank account is getting or worrying about whether or not I will find a job, I've been trying to enjoy this season of life. Sometimes I am more successful at it than other times. Worry has a way of killing everything positive in your life. It has robbed me of good sleep, it has diverted my attention from my family, and I'm convinced my hair is getting thinner on top because of it.

So with God's help, I'm doing my best to just enjoy where I am right now. One huge benefit is that I've been able to spend a lot of time with the girls. I've taken them to the beach or the park or somewhere fun almost every day. They just love to play in the sand and get messy :)

O is getting a lot more brave in the surf, so that has been cool to see. She still hangs onto my leg with a death grip when the wave is coming in, but she's learned that after it passes, she can relax a little bit and swim around in the water. There is probably a good teaching metaphor in that image about our relationship with God, but I'll leave it to those of you that are brighter than me to work that out.

Jenetta got a swing for free on Amazon that I put up on the tree in the front yard. They go out and swing all the time! And they love their bikes and riding around our cul-de-sac.

Yesterday, I blew up this gigantic pirate ship inflatable swimming pool we got from some of the grandparents. It was a hot afternoon, and they had a great time splashing around in the front yard. But I felt kind of bad about filling a huge pool with watering restrictions in place in our community. I probably won't be doing that too often! :)

Today, I am taking the girls to preschool and then going surfing. I don't have to return to pick them up until 1:00, so I plan to set up the umbrella and do some reading on the beach.

I've also been able to enjoy a lot of time connecting with friends. David and Isaiah came over for an impromptu dinner last night, I went to the hot tub at Jeremy's place after the girls went to bed, and I'm meeting another friend late tonight. Another benefit is that I've been able to resume my weekly Wednesday lunches with Geoff. There is something so good about meeting with a friend who knows your failures and struggles and wants to hang with you anyway.

I'm supposed to find out later this week if/when I will be hired back by the company. But in the meantime, I am doing my best to enjoy the time I've been given. That's what I've been up to...

Things are looking up...

Well, in a manner of speaking, they are...

Friday was my last day of work. It has been sad to watch my boss continue to deceive himself. He has called me a few times and has all kinds of plans for the future of a new company he is dreaming up. Sadly, I think none of it will ever materialize.

I have spoken with a number of the shareholders and the person they'd like to put in place as the new CEO, and they are all positive that a restructuring can happen and that I will be employed again soon. But all that remains to be seen. As I told them, although I am grateful for the appreciation and well-wishes, none of that pays the mortgage.

So I'm back to looking for work again and reaching out to every connection I can think of.

But here is the good stuff...

I'm really enjoying being unemployed! :) The stress of a failing company and being caught between the shareholders and the former CEO is completely gone. Either it will work out now or it won't - it is completely out of my hands. Our bills are paid for another few weeks, so it doesn't really accomplish anything to fret about stuff two weeks from now.

Today I took the girls to their therapy appointment and then we went to the beach. It is a beautiful So. Cal kind of day! Sunny and 75 degrees with a slight breeze. The water was warm, and the girls had fun with me in the waves. We enjoyed our In-N-Out lunch on the way home, and Aunt Barb is playing with the girls in the living room.

O's behavior has gotten a lot better. We still have our minor temper tantrums now and again, but for the most part, she is a lot more fun to be around. We have both noticed how polite they are. I guess 6 months of modeling polite behavior has finally paid off! When they make mistakes, they apologize. When they ask for things, they say please and thank you most of the time.

Jenetta and I are very grateful that things have returned to a more normal place with the girls. Life is challenging enough without defiance and screaming and kicking all the time!

Because I put in so much time with the girls today, I banked some free time with Jenetta, so after dinner, I'm going to hang out with the guys and watch the Charger's game.

Other than the not having any money part, I could really get used to being unemployed! :)

Thanks for your prayers and support. It means a lot!

Thanks!

I've gotten a lot of response on the last post. Some were concerned that I revealed too much; most everyone was supportive and sympathetic.

Things have been a little better since then on the home front. O actually had a pretty good day yesterday, and from Thursday on she has been talking about trying harder to listen. We have a reward/consequences system in place that works pretty well. O has been really sad that her choices have left her out of some good stuff, so she has been determined to get to the end of the day with her three smiley faces still on her chart. Yesterday, she made it! So that has been encouraging. Yes, she is still defiant and struggling to control everything and having screaming temper tantrums every day. But it is all a matter of degree and the intensity has definitely gone down significantly. Most of the time she is a sweet and kind little girl.

In talking with her therapist, we are convinced that my three day trip to the east coast had a lot to do with O's regression. I basically handle all the morning parenting duties until I head off to work. So me not being there for waking up, breakfast, and getting dressed really was a source of anxiety for the girls. We feel things have improved back to pretty much where we were before the trip. So that has been a huge relief and a big answer to prayer.

I've accepted the uncertainty that is my job right now. The decisions that will set the future for the company are being made over the weekend, and a call to put things into action will happen Tuesday or Wednesday I am told. It can't come soon enough. I can't go into depth in the blog, but suffice it to say, there is a group of people that are dissatisfied with the current direction of the company and want to see a significant course correction. I agree with their position. They have said nice words to me about my role in trying to fix things and dealing with everything honestly, but whether or not that translates into an income remains to be seen. Mostly, though, I just want the stress over. I am tired of being in the very awkward situation I find myself in now. It's tough to watch someone make foolish choices and deceive themselves that they are doing the right thing (or be completely unaware of how close the consequences are to arriving at the doorstep).

Matthew 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

But I wanted to say thank you to those of you who are praying for us. Your encouragement means a lot. Thanks!