Well, two steps forward, one step back as they say...

This week it felt like one step forward and three steps back!

We didn't expect that everything would be rosy and perfect with the girls, but over the past few weeks, everything has been steadily improving. The consistency and stability we are providing for the girls has been paying off.

But from Sunday night through Wednesday, things have been really challenging, and it is hard to pin-point if one element caused the problems or three things all combined to contribute. We are still processing all that and trying to figure it out. Here are the contributing factors:

Last weekend, Jenetta's family visited. The girls had a good time and enjoyed receiving gifts and having more laps to sit on for story time, but on Sunday afternoon we had 6 extra adults in our home interacting with the girls. Even though the visit with everyone was less than an hour, the girls got pretty worked up. Nap time was very difficult that afternoon.

We have been avoiding flour and gluten in their diets on a recommendation from Jenetta's naturopath. This has really helped to calm O down and keep her on a more even keel. But, this weekend, we fell away from that at an adoption event where just pizza was served and at snack time at church. Maybe that had an effect...

But our vote for the most likely starting point was a phone call with some of O and L's family members that had some elements we did not appreciate. I can't really go into the details here, but in discussion with our social workers, we have cut off the phone conversations for a while and canceled a planned visitation for early June. This phone call was the boiling point, and it has taken several days for the girls to recover from it.

What went on? You may be asking... Well, I can't really go into specific details, but O's defiance and being unable to control herself rocketed up to levels we haven't seen since the first week with us (and in some cases, beyond...) Hearing her cry and scream so much is just heartbreaking. But it wasn't just O who was acting up. L turns inward, gets very quiet and needy, and has some challenging behaviors as well.

To top it off, on Monday afternoon, we received some very unsettling news at work. I still have a job, and I know that God is providing for us. But the amount of stress at work has gone off the chart. I can't go into details on that really here, either. Just know it has been tough, and even though I have only had this job for less than 3 months, I am completely emotionally invested in the success of our product. This stress has led to interpersonal conflicts and other challenges.

I haven't slept very well all week. It is a good thing that my marathon training is winding down because I don't have energy to run more than a few miles. Jenetta's mom is staying with the girls tonight so we can attend our home group (where we haven't been in two months). We really miss and need the support of our friends now.

Thanks for letting me vent on you...

In case you were wondering, the girls have for the most part calmed down to where we were before. I'm trusting God that the work stuff will settle down as well and that I can get some decent rest this weekend.